Tuesday, January 7, 2014

Coincidentally a silhouette reflecting


In regards to perspective, I name myself as the observer. I am diligently aware of my outline of grace, of temperament, appearing as the greatest idea of myself and becoming it. In so much of my observation, I am attentive to those around me. How am I being received? In college, while pursuing acting, I studied many techniques of observation to heighten my sensitivity to the moment and the reaction. I am half me living the experience, and half outside of myself composing the picture in an avian-like perspective.  Partially I resist 'letting go' and for that I am aware of my lack of participating. Or am I underestimating myself? I imagine that my fear lies hidden beneath my freckles. Embodying the quality of something elegant or classic affords me the distance and a charm of cool. I am what I think, and I am what I perceive others to think, which is still my thinking. Too much. In this video I am the absence of light. A new moon. I know my shadow. The art of the negative. Perhaps I am dreaming my fears. Grounded in fantasy, I still create my reality. The power of thought released into space I create to make the way for an infinitismal vision to connect with the other to connect to myself. Am I more vulnerable? Is this quantifiable? Contentment is not outside of me. There is no 'other' in time. The conception of tomorrow saves me from owning what I fear today. The 'next time' veers my path into another spiral of ambiguity. Taking the lead, leaning on someone, creating a conversation and sharing the humanity and humility of what is, is what I aim to align with. I deem this a worthy goal. I deem this a worthy thought in process. Welcome to the reflective water of a rehearsal studio in Chelsea. I do enjoy all of the angles in the river, Blue Danube.

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