Initiating a beginning to something might be the single most difficult part of the entire process. The 'eye contact', the 'hi', the 'once upon a time', the salutation of the letter that could change my life'. How to begin. Well, in this instance, beginnings are as challenging as one wants to make them. And look there I have begun.
I am always reflecting and allowing the yesterdays and the months ago bleed into my present, as though the ink is still staining the pocket of my... nothing is still staining anything. It ended. My struggle to get to right here is in that moment before this one, at the very start of this sentence, and I am way over here now. My mind, my inner voice typing through my fingertips often considering the next bit of prose I could type. I try to relax my furrowing brows.
I made a claim, by titling my blog muse of New York. I am still making the claim in fact. Simply I am taking on the title. I would rather have my intention be specific rather than go untitled or be vague in who I am. I'll light a candle to it. What does that mean? It means that I won't apologize for being exactly what I am. A self proclaimed muse, I will own that. Let me inspire. Dear World, Kindly allow me to be a wonderful human being, conscious and always thinking. Let me share and delight and gift some of this enthusiasm and play I found in my life. Love, Adele
But I don't have to ask for the world to allow. I simply choose to allow. And there, I am.
I have the music so loud in my headphones- New York is a poly-rhythmic tapestry. Individual notes, colors, shades, and patterns .... I'm the tall red head named Adele in this song.
With a cup of tea, in January
common sentiments
heightened sensibility
stave off the cold
welcome the
thoughts of adjusting
the fabric of myself
changing, unapologetic
my outlook on this city
too small of a window
rooftop ecstasy
hardly a view in this rain
to be good, to be certain of good
i better invest in good bed
sleeping singular under my thoughts
of worth and the weight
of melancholy when joy is a choice
independently drifting in between
the floor and my ceiling
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