A Chandelier in the Chimney

A Wednesday evening.

An in-between the sheets-heat, thick-with grey-rain, September day.

I hear, 'No matter how far you run, you can't run away from yourself.'

To be impulsive in transaction, thoughtful in chew, considerate in exchange, and still question the direction under one's feet is an awful lot to discern on an unknown path. Or there is no path. I am already on the path-being alive, and yet. For the artist with a propensity to fall from wanderlust into a prescribed regime, education will save me. I miss the thread of learning too much to stray far from the classroom; the benevolent carriage. Teaching myself now, I am ambitious in my survival and yet. I lack a focused purpose. I am a chandelier in the chimney... of my indecision.

Dream in Walt Whitman's musings, 'Resist much, obey little'... on a budget of course. A dear friend once said, 'You don't always have to work to pay your bills, sometimes you have to not work to live your life'.

Is it an intrinsic agenda or rather a capitalistic virtue to seek and question one's purpose?

Edward Abbey is quoted saying, 'Sentiment without action is the ruin of the soul'.

To smile at the crepuscular ray as if I were a sunflower shan't be enough. I am obliged to work harder by an inveterate ethic in my need to do- more. Deeply-rooted, I aim to improve and develop and learn, an innate sense to do, to be, to do, to be. Challenging and redefining what purpose means to me, I glow on the inside and slight manifestations of certainty seep outward.

In regards to fiction: 'An interpretation must be supported by evidence in the story, and this interpretation must acknowledge what parts are based on speculation rather than incontrovertible evidence'.

Daoism says, 'Knowing is seeing'.

I see, and I know.

David Hume argues, and I paraphrase, 'All knowledge comes from sensation'.

I see and I feel so I know.

What do I know?